My Nightmare

Scared to sleep I fear the night that dream come true

That dream I've been having for days & days

That dream that just will not go away 

The same dream that will be my living nightmare

And the one that makes my stomach....

You fill it in...

The light...The truth...And the mystery...

Wants me to finish this...

Yet I can't for..thinking of that dream

Just makes me feel too sick

Thoughts of Poetry

Poetry is da thought that moves through ur body..da soul dat lifts ur spirit.....its da wonders of life and desires of man....poetry is what you make it...yet always in rhythm...its love dat fills da heart....its my music..my dreams..my actions..my everything...for it teaches knowledge to da unknown...brings variety to da close minded...it speaks to you...it heals you...appreciates you and loves you...poetry is life which will never die but grow stronger day by day...

 

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Lately my eyes have felt heavy

Yet I have no courage to say Why 

Or even How...I've Gotten to this point 

But I'm Here

Through my mistakes and my faults

It's just this time it wasn't Me

Yet...It was me, but intentionally

And the reason I feel 

Was due to my actions

See..I let it go to far even tho I knew it was wrong

I began to lie to myself and look for a reason to make it right 

Though..I knew after all I said before

My actions have made me contradict myself & become

What I once thought I could never be & again what once was

Naive, Soft, & a Hypocrite...in the eyes of others

So with my mistake came my lesson..the second time around

A lesson i'll neva forget and one that will eva haunt me

One I wish to go away, but yet I kno it wouldn't

And now this lesson has left me lost, embarrassed, and afraid 

Of my future...my once close friend...and my pride

Is He Ashamed??

So Now...

He says he loves me

And says he cares

Over the phone..

He texts me at day

And of course thru all of night

When we're alone...

He calls me his beloved baby

And kisses all over

Yet once in public..

He looks me over

And walks right by

So Now...

All that runs through my mind is why??

** This poem is not a personal poem and does not speak about anyone in particular.  It can go for both females and males as it speaks on being ashamed of the person you are with or whatever relationship it maybe.  I felt as if there are many times people act different towards the person they are with or messing with in public then they do when the two are alone. Personally I will say that I sometimes may ask "a certain way" because I don't want everyone in my business, yet I'm not talkin exactly about that I'm talkin more so about people that really say they are feelin sumthin for someone & then act another way when others are around...What's Your Reason For That exactly?? Why say you feel a certain way and act the other?? And let's say you do really care for that person what's to happen once they are tired of the way you've been acting and leave you??....**

 p.s. don't be ashamed and if you are then you worry about what ppl think a bit too much signed....NonChalant Neya..Babes

Hidden Secrets..No Guys It's Not A Poem but Somethin I've Been Thinking About

Throughout life we all have secrets. Some worst then others & others not so bad..but at times its these secrets that define who we truly are. Whether we are genuinely good inside or whether we're the worst person known to man. Yet no matter what the secret maybe; it often becomes something which alters our emotions & leads us to make mistakes or better yet do something no one should ever know about until that big secret comes out..Be it shared with a few or only within you..Certain secrets can become harmful & may secretly be eating you alive. But there are others that tend to make some feel good. Well in my eyes the best secret can equal the sweetest gift until that secret becomes your nightmare..But if you'd ever just stopped and thought most of us ourselves are secrets..Secrets to each other..Some secrets we may hate more then love..My secrets...well that's another topic that I won't get into..Yet just now sitting and thinking of what a secret can do once exposed...WOW..Type Craze..I may now just hate dem esp. some of mines..but would you say that a secret kept within oneself is just as bad or should it come out??Are those the most dangerous seeing that communication is one tends to help us over come certain situations?? and no i'm not talking about over the head dramatic secrets such as u murdered sum1 but like i regular secret one may have..Or would you say all secrets are healthy and give ppl an opportunity to keep their business to themselves? Wat do u think about my theory on secrets....   

My Apology

 Time & time again i've felt this way 

Thing is I never listened to myself

Now I see what it comes to 

And also the lessons that have been taught 

For not listening, thinking with feelings, & not the brain

I chose to ignore 

Knowing I was wrong

I wanted to be right

Showing myself that you could at times do me...

In a bad way

Seeing that I should know 

What's good for my well being

But not knowing & believing that 

You were part of me 

My heart says try & My body says do

So temptation begins to touch

And my body gets numb

As my legs shake & I feel a quiver

That's when I believe I was right

And then know you were 

Yet indeed wrong

But it's not done

That ooo so good feeling & devious yet lusty look on my face thinks it then knows it all 

My brain then says "Aye..That was fulfilling"

And my body continues to quiver

As I have reminisced on the moment and forgotten about you

With it all feeling so right how could you blame me

See it was that curious itch that helped me make up my mind

Yet not thinkin of what you've told me

I swear I couldn't help, but ignore

And I must admit 

For the moment it was the best thing I've ever felt

For the moment it was my heaven on earth

And for the moment it was an undiscovered mistake

Little did I know that you would soon come back & haunt me

My wrong doing couldn't help, but make me cry especially when you told me knew of those acts

Not one or two, but all

That lead me to where I am now

So this is my apology

I'm Sorry

Very sorry I didn't listen to you

And know I'm coping with my mistakes & trying to get back to you

That's why everytime you speak I listen & remember

Both of what I've done & what I've been told....

A Women's Intuition Is One Of Gold 

Tor...

I MUST MUST SAY THANKS TORI FOR GIVING ME MY BEAUTIFUL BLOG PAGE NAME...LUV YA